1
There was a young lady of Spain
Who took down her pants on a train.
There was a young porter
Saw more than he orter,
And asked her to do it again. 1939

2
The nipples of Sarah Sarong,
When excited, were twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong. 1944

3
There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding,
When she found there was no tit for Tat.1941
4
There was a young Jewess named Hanna
Who sucked off her lover's banana.
She swore that the cream
That shot out in a stream
Tasted better than biblical Manna. 1942

5
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.1942


6
There once was a floozie named Annie
Whose prices were cozy--but canny:
A buck for a fuck,
Fifty cents for a suck,
And a dime for a feel of her fanny.1943


7
There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry and cakes,
But lived upon penis au gratin. 1938

8
There was a young virgin in Perth
Swore she'd do it for no one on earth,
Yet she fell without scandal
To a red Christmas candle
And was always less choosey henceforth. 1942

9
There's an unbroken babe from Toronto,
Exceedingly hard to get onto,
But when you get there,
And have parted the hair,
You can fuck her as much as you want to. 1941

10

Meat-rationing did not terrify Miss Davey,
She got married to a sailor in the Navy,
For she knew twixt his legs
He had ham and had eggs,
A big weenie, and gobs of white gravy. 1942

11

Dame Catherine of Ashton-on-Lynches
Got on with her grooms and her wenches:
She went down on the gents,
And pronged the girls' vents
With a clitoris reaching six inches. 1942

12

There was a young lady from China
Who mistook for her mouth her vagina.
Her clitoris huge
She covered with rouge
And lipsticked her labia minor. 1948

13

There once was a Queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a Prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier. 1938

14

A pert miss named Mary Contrary
Was blowing a man on a ferry.
About when he was done, he said,
"Swallow my cum!"
"I won't---but I want to," said Mary. 1944

15

A fellatrix' healthful condition
Proved the value of cum as nutrition.
Her remarkable diet
(I suggest that you try it)
Was only her clients' emission. 1927

16

There was a young girl of Moline
Whose fucking was sweet and obscene.
She would work on a prick
With every known trick,
And finish by sucking it clean. 1941

17

A passionate red-headed girl,
When you kissed her, her senses would whirl,
Her twat would get wet
Would wiggle and fret,
And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl. 1941

18

There was a good girl from Anheuser,
Who promised that no man could "try" her,
But Pabst took a chance,
Found a Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is badder Budweiser.

19

A tidy young lady of Streator
Dearly loved to nibble a peter.
She always would say,
"I prefer it this way.
I think it is very much neater." 1927

20

There was a young girl in Berlin
Who ecked out a living through sin.
She didn't mind fucking,
But much preferred sucking,
And she'd wipe off the pricks with her chin. 1941

21

There was a young girl of Samoa
Who determined that no man should know her.
One young fellow tried
But she wriggled aside,
And spilled all the spermatozoa. 1928

22

A sweet young strip dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it
She said, "I abhor it,
But my cunt juice would spatter like rain," 1934

23

There was a young lady named Inge
Who went on a binge with a dinge.
Now I won't breathe a word
Of what really occurred---
But her cunt has a chocolate fringe. 1943

24

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very, very foolish to place
Her hand on your cock
When it turned hard as rock,
For fear it would cum on her face. 1946

25

A lecherous fellow named Babbitt
Asked a girl if she'd fuck or would nab it.
Said she, "From long habit
I fuck like a rabbit,
So I'd rather cohabit than grab it." 1941

26

There was a young girl, very sweet,
Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat.
When she sat on their lap
She unbuttoned their flap.
And always had plenty to eat. 1944

27

There was a young girl of Peru
Who had nothing whatever to do,
So she sat on the stairs
Counting her pussy hairs---
Four thousand, three hundred, and two. 1941

28

There was a young lady called Tucker,
And the parson he tried hard to fuck her.
She said, "You gay sinner,
Instead of your dinner,
At my cunt you shall have a good suck,ah."1870

29

There was a young virgin named Alice
Who thought of her cunt as a chalice.
One night, sleeping nude,
She awoke feeling lewd,
And found in her chalice a phallus. 1941

30

There was a young fellow named Sweeney
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch
Had a catch that would latch---
She could only be screwed by Houdini. 1941

31

It was under the old apple tree
Where she first showed her pussy to me.
It was ever so hot,
A hairy, wet slot,
And it looked like a subway to me.

32

As two consular clerks in Madras
Fished, hidden in deep shore-grass,
"What a marvelous pole,"
Said she, "but control
Your sinkers---they're banging my ass." 1942

33

There was a young lady of Rhyll
In an omnibus was taken ill,
So she called the conductor
Who got in and fucked her,
Which did her more good than a pill. 1870

34

There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her. 35 Two school-kids around Aberystwyth Made love with the lips that they kissed with But as they got older They also grew bolder Making love with the things that they pissed with 36 Once a young woman named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina, And part of her anus in Dallas. 37 There once was a woman from Arden Who was seen sucking a man in the garden Her mother said, "Flo, Where does it all go?? First she swallowed then said, "Beg your pardon?" 38 There was a young lady of Bicester Who was nicer by far than her sister: The sister would giggle And wiggle and jiggle, But this one would come if you kissed her. 1941 39 A flatulent nun of Hawaii One Easter eve supped on papaya, Then honored the Passover By turning her ass over And obliging with Handel's Messiah. 1944 40 A hungry old trollop from Yemen Did a pretty good business with he-men. But she gave up all fucking In favor of sucking, For the protein contained in the semen. 1947 41 Exclaimed a young girl in Kildare, As her lover's cock towered in air, "If that goes in I I Shall certainly die--- As I shall if it does NOT go there." 1942 42 There was a young woman named Lily, Who chanced to be born with a willy. Since she had a cunt too, When she felt like a screw She could lie back and fuck herself silly! 43 There was a young lady named Duff With a lovely, luxuriant muff. In his haste to get in her, One eager beginner Lost both of his balls in the rough.